As if they were kisses from the sky, droplets of water gently began to descend from above as Huy & Thuy were pronounced Husband & Wife.

They started out slow & scattered, but much like the chatter & glee of the 300+ guests who joined us today, in a matter of minutes- it was a downpour.

YYEEEESSS!!!

To understand my excitement, let’s go back a little bit… to 10 am on the BIG day…  I was in the studio, which is just a few miles away from Admiral Kidd Club, the location of the day’s event. Ceremony plans were outdoors, back-up plan was indoors…on the dance floor, with guests at their dinner seats. Uhm No. I didn’t like that option at all.  It was pouring. I mean slamming on the windows and screaming at me; “Hey Brenda!! I know you love me, so here I am!!” UGH. Really? I must I prove my love for you today?

I got in my car, headed to the venue, and just stared out towards the city from the spot where my Bride would say “I do”- still pondering what to do, I figured unloading favor boxes would give me direction, then I overheard the staff say ” That’s gonna be the Wedding Planner’s call.” Hey, that’s me, who is it that I have to call??  LOL. I had to a make a decision, where does everyone set up?? Play it safe and do it inside, or be in contempt of the weather gods and set up outside? After an eight-minute pep talk with myself, I told the venue- “Set them up outside! Let’s go!” – they looked at me all kinds of crazy and even asked me not to be mad if it started to rain. For the next hour and a half, I was tucking menus in napkins, putting favors out, and watching the clouds oh so closely. EEK! It was as if I was waiting to walk down the aisle myself! The anticipation & anxiety was killing me!! The next moments were all but a blur…

Wedding Party arrived, Bride & Groom were onsite, guests were on-time… Groomsmen on top of it getting everyone in their seats quick…  cue DJ, enter officiant, somewhere over the rainbow begins to play, grab an interim bridesmaid from the congregation and let’s go! We are having a wedding folks… a beautiful, dry, magnificent wedding.  YYYEEEESSSS!!

I was so happy (and thankful to the powers that be) to have had the wedding outside, just as my lovely bride wanted, that I didn’t even mind the sudden rush of 300 people trying to find their seats all at once (instead of the normal trickle-in of guests, because most normally meander outside awhile, enjoy the view, take pictures, and eat some hor devours). It was crazy hectic, the skyline room was packed to the brim, and the chocolate fountain could not have started fast enough! But man oh man, was it such a relief that nature once again was on my side! Thuy & Huy were incredibly happy too!

One of my favorite parts of a wedding is seeing the Groom just glow when he looks at his bride. It’s so beautiful-in such a publicly intimate moment, to see the sparkles in their eyes… aaww, you just want to melt. Ok ok, but I’m not trying to be a sappy romantic. Thuy & Huy were amazing! With their infectious smiles and their gracious attitudes, sharing this day as a part of their vendor team was really a breeze. With me for the celebration were Narrative Images for photography, A Perfect Table for linens, Shirley the cake lady with her fabulous cake, Chris from DJ Guy for music, Arc de Belle provided the ceremony arch (thanks guys for setting up outside against the odds!), topped off with the sweetest; Mike & Lovely with Lovely chair covers & fountains who provided the delish chocolate fountains I had to put effort into staying away from!

Here are some pictures from the celebration… didn’t have a chance to take too many, but you gotta love those iPhone shots XXO!!

p.s. don’t forget to leave some comment love~

Quickest Bridal Party line-up ever!

Here comes the (dry) bride

Love me some Men in Uniform! The Marine on the left is Huy's brother

Married! And sharing their First Dance <3"

Nom Nom Nom- this was a tower of a cake!

Mike spreading the choco-fountain love with fellow vendors.

Getting some love from the groom, Huy

and from the beautiful bride Thuy (+ brother)

Wedding

wed-ding  noun

1.	the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.

2.	the anniversary of a marriage, or its celebration: They invited guests to their silver wedding.

3.	the act or an instance of blending or joining

I think I am going to petition for Mr. Webster to include a bullet-point or asterisk under the definition of wedding, which notifies engaged couples of what it takes to plan a Real Wedding.

For starters, it doesn’t identify who is paying for the shindig, nor does it allude to any kind of warning on the numerous fights you and your fiancée will get into over the next several months. Not serious fights, but you know, little stuff- like what song you want for the processional of the mothers, or what color cocktail napkins you have to order for the bar, and what do you want the DJ to wear, a suit or a tux? Wait a minute, why is that even relevant??

As you are left pondering the decisions above, you realize that Mr. Webster’s definition also doesn’t even slightly give you a projected cost.  So you are left to wander around the Internet, clicking on the endless possibilities that could be your wedding. Sometimes, you have a bit of an advantage in your wedding preparedness because you’ve been in a wedding, or you have a friend who’s gotten married, or the best resource yet… you’ve seen those Wedding shows on television.  You know the ones; the ones that define the word wedding much better than Mr. Webster himself, in fully edited, extremely vivid, almost as good as being there magnification. So now that you are engaged, you know exactly what to do, and what not to do (because nobody wants to be a Bridezilla), in order to have the best, possible wedding, a Real Wedding.

If you sense a bit of sarcasm in my tone, you are not misreading my friends. I am being sarcastic and antagonistic.  Why you ask? Because, last time I checked, in the State of California you only need a few things in order to be married (besides the $45 fee for the license):

1. A Partner
2. An Officiant
3. Two Witnesses

You also need Love -although this one is optional depending on the couple, it is about the only recommendation I will endorse wholeheartedly.

Let me tell ya what you don’t need to get married:

Fighting: With your family over the guest list, with your childhood friend over her bridesmaids dress, or with your fiancé because he/she cannot give you a solid opinion on the color scheme & theme you are debating.

Stress: Over your co-worker who also just got engaged and is stealing your thunder, a groomsman who’s had to move to another state because their spouse’s job was relocated, or because you can’t seem to find a the perfect favors that both men & women will keep as an eternal momento from your celebration.

Enormous Debt: Spending far more than what you can afford because you simply must have that thing that was on that show, or because your best friend had it at her wedding & you have to outdo it, or because people expect you to.

A marriage is full of compromise, planning a wedding is practice for the many years of compromising you have ahead of you. No matter how independent, financially stable, smart, or other, you are- you will always have to find a middle ground with the person you will spend the rest of your life with, so why not find that middle ground with the myriad of decisions you are making during the planning too? Is there a decision that crucial to your eternal happiness? I’m not telling you to disregard the expectations of your social circle, not to spend money, or not to include a very special detail from your celebration- but think about how much something really means to you before putting so much weight on it that you only end up with puffy eyes, a headache, and potentially fiancee-less.

Seems as if I’ve gotten off the original blog topic, but in actuality I have not. I wanted to talk about having a Real Wedding and all of the elements, which are so seemingly important to having one: Forgettable details, unnecessary stresses, regrettable fights, and debt. Mr. Webster didn’t talk about those now did he? Having have worked and planned a wedding or two, from the backyard bash to the over-the-top platinum celebration, and everything in between, I can tell you that none of those things that Mr. Webster didn’t address, even mattered on the day of the wedding. When I see my couples basking in each other’s sight, smiling, laughing, and being overjoyed with the moments, I know they aren’t thinking about trivial details. Their families and friends, they aren’t either… they are busy having fun, dancing, catching up with old friends, sharing a night’s breeze- whatever. Maybe that’s why Mr. Webster doesn’t define “Wedding” further, because he knows what’s important.

That’s a rhetorical question… I don’t actually want you to come up with an answer to that… Not yet anyway.

I’ve had the opportunity (honor really), to grow close to many of my couples. Even if the closeness only lasted the amount of months it took to plan their wedding. I never the less, entered the lives of many people, in a way that most of us have to earn over years. Call it temporary friendship, acquaintance-ship (yes, I just made up a word), or merely a “product” of the business- whatever you call it, I know how I define it…

Part of that definition comes from somehow ending up in the middle of very awkward (and very personal) situations… often. Some of you may remember the Maiden Name, Married Name Blog I wrote last September. That blog as inspired by an episode I bared witness to in the middle of a planning consultation. While I feel incredibly honored to be trusted by clients and their families in such a manner, it is also astoundingly uncomfortable to be posed a myriad of questions amidst quarreling people- to which the answers are really no matter of mine to begin with.

In the Married Name, Maiden Name blog,  I expressed the importance of communication. But if I wasn’t clear enough, I want to relay that message again. Communication is imperative when planning such a milestone of a celebration! Be it via smoke signal, email, text, twitter…whatever- always always communicate with the people who matter in your life, regardless of their financial contribution to your wedding, for you never know who’s feelings will be crushed on what is meant to be an extremely happy day. Let me tell ya a story…

In planning their wedding, a couple, who was paying for their wedding in its entirety, decided that they would not partake in any of the traditional reception rituals. The word traditional in itself being a subjective matter varying per person, but for this blog I am referring to formalities such as the Father/Daughter, Mother/Son dance, Welcome Speeches, Toasts, Tosses, Cake Cutting, Money/Honeymoon dances, etc. This couple just wanted to eat, drink & be married. In the months of planning, we vigorously discussed and planned everything from the live food stations, to the mid-reception entertainment, and the elaborately orchestrated exit. At no point, did they ever expect, or even want anything to do with the events typically witnessed at weddings. Age or previous numbers of marriages are irrelevant-in this or any wedding for that matter, for when a couple celebrates their wedding, they should be able to do so as they please within their defined reasonable parameters.  Their celebration was to go off without a hitch!

Well, not quite… Dad found out, on the wedding day, that his son (the bride’s brother) would escort the bride down the isle, not him. Then the groom’s mom realized that the officiant was not an ordained minister but a friend licensed for the day. A set of aunts were appalled that they did not have corsages or were part of the processional. Later, I had couple of family members ask me when catering was going to bring out the Jordan Almonds (uhm huh?), and in the midst of trying to figure out what the big deal about the dang Jordan Almonds was… I found the step-mother to the groom, crying, because she had just been told by the DJ that there was no mother/son dance scheduled, and she was not going to get to dance with the only man she knew as her son. There is nothing worse than unintentionally being the bearer of disappointing news. Which to be quite honest… I have to accept, it’s part of the job. No big deal. HOWEVER, being that part of my job is also to be seeker of solutions, and quick… these predicaments found me completely stumped and at a loss- seriously, finding Jordan Almonds on a whim was the easiest task of this evening! Think about this; at what point in the planning process is it my right to question the desires of a couple? Where is the boundary between Planner & Family Counselor? I can get my hands on a replacement veil & bribe a ring bearer to walk down the isle any day of the week… but questioning people’s personal values & how they want to celebrate is a totally different story.

Please, don’t misinterpret my words, I am not suggesting that a couple should pay no mind to anyone or anything if they are paying for their own nuptials, nor that anyone who financially contributes to the nuptials somehow buys the right to have a say in the ceremony or reception program. This isn’t government lobbying here… What I am saying is that if for whatever reason a couple does not want to partake in the (subjectively) traditional ways of celebrating, it should not be a matter of contention for anyone. However, because those traditional elements have great value to some families and cultures, a couple is equally responsible to discuss with parents, elders, or otherwise influential people in their lives, how they want to celebrate their union. If anything, to show that same love, respect, and understanding they want for their celebration, to the people who love and support them.

Yes, it’s like opening up a Pandora’s box. There will be conflicting views on how things should go, there will be opposing opinions, antiquated versions of what pop-culture has shaped to be important at weddings… and when you talk, you aren’t going to do it in a quick twenty-minute, sitting in traffic episode, it wont be easy, it will drag on, you will lose sleep, you’ll scream, you’ll be upset, OR you might be relieved, maybe even happy, you might find that everyone around you is thrilled to be celebrating, whatever the way, that you are supported in the new traditions you want to partake in, or the old ones, or the made-up ones, who knows! Better still- you might have a combination of the above happy and trying moments, and you will come out learning more about your family, yourself, and overall have practiced those communication skills that often go completely misused.

I can guarantee you that taking a moment to talk about things (“things” as in your wedding plans) with those people who love and support you, will be among the best decisions you make as you move forward with planning the next stage of your life.

P.S. if you want to know what the deal was about the Jordan Almonds, click here to read about the tradition & meaning of having them at your wedding.

Huge SHOUT OUTS to the people who made it all happen:

Seriously!!?? I have no idea how a girl gets so dang lucky to have so many awesome people around her… yes I am speaking in the third person I know I can’t help being in awe and thanking every lucky star in the sky above me for all the positivity and energy that fuels me to thrive as I do.

Toys, toys, toys AND all the great folks who shut down the pub!

During my First Annual (because yes, I will be doing this again) Giggle & Mingle Toys for Tots Drive, I felt the love! There will be some happy, giggly, smiley faces at Christmas time this year for sure, all because of the incredibly supportive folks who came out to mingle with me.

First of all, Joe & Ronny over at PL Sports Bar & Grill for donating the venue & coming up with some yummy specials for the night. My handsome sailor husband, Dayton, for donating the door prizes & always encouraging me to do my thang, my dear friends & studio mates Melissa McClure & Cathy Olson for donating the grand prizes. Melanie Montoya for the awesome invitation design, Bill Calhoun for his music & MC Skills, along with DJ Dave who played some awesome live music. Designer Kit Frye of Fiveloaves Twofish Clothing for the beautiful, custom dress & headpiece that got me compliments all night! My brother, Ludick Kepler Photography, along with Jordan & Gia from Absolute Kelvin Photography for providing the paparazzi coverage all night. You can visit the Swann Soirées Facebook Fan page (become a fan!) to browse the many pictures, AND visit the Giggle & Mingle Gallery Jordan posted too! Another Shout Out also to my friends over at Foto Cabina for providing the photobooth & props for everyone to enjoy, it was a hit! We must not forget, especially on this Veteran’s Day, The Marine Corps, for sending me some uniformed fellas who not only selflessly service our country, but also were good sports about all the pictures, dancing, and shenanigans an all-night happy hour brings! Who else was going to carry away the FIVE heavy TOY-FILLED boxes though??!! Lastly, my incredible “wing girl” and assistant, Kristy Eagle, for being a fabulous co-host. Much Much LOVE to all of you.

Even more love to ALL who showed up with toys, money, and enthusiasm. I am on such a happy-happy joy-joy high right now I am typing away bewildered on how I got to be so blessed by the awesomeness of people around me. Makes me want to sing and dance! I wanna put on…. my my my my my boogie shoes!

Getting Toy Love from Starcross'd Creative!

DJ Dave Rocking the House!

Photo Booth Fun!

I will be collecting Toys & Monetary Donations until December 10, 2009 @ the Cerimone Studio. You can stop by on any weekday from 10am-4pm, including during our next open house, December 4^th until 8pm, you may also mail-in check  donations made out to TOYS FOR TOTS to the studio, click here for our address.

I am being asked to have another Giggle & Mingle next month, so I’ll update you on that if it happens. If you would like to sign up to be a recipient of the Toys collected by the many incredible volunteers this season, contact Toys for Tots directly here.

KissKissHug to all of you again. MERCI! GRACIAS! THANK YOU!!

That’s right! Swann Soirées has partnered up with Toys for Tots to help collect toys for families in need for the 2009 Holiday Season.

Cerimone Studio is now an OFFICIAL San Diego drop-off location! Woot!! I am so excited at the opportunity to help bring some happiness into the lives of the benefiting kids & families.

Toys for Tots started in 1947, it originated as an idea from a Marine’s wife named Diane who hand-crafted a doll & wanted to donate it to a  child  in need- turns out there was no organization that did that sort of thing, so her husband created one. NICE! Just the way I’d do it!

Many of you are probably familiar with the organization, for they really put a countless amount of effort to raise money and collect toys throughout the year. Besides, who can really miss the dashing Marines, dressed in what I think are the best uniforms of the Armed Services, standing tall at the drop-off locations these last three months of the year? Lures me into going to buy a toy just so I have an excuse for my staring! Don’t worry, Dayton already knows I love the Marine uniforms more than the Navy ones… no need to gasp…hee hee.  Nothing beats a man (or woman) in uniform!  Toys collected will be distributed to families & non-profit organizations throughout the country in December just in time for Christmas morning (hence why efforts & collection drives start “early”).

Alright, so the details: I’ll be collecting new, unwrapped toys AND checks (made out to the Toys for Tots Foundation) starting October 2^nd, between 5-8pm at the Cerimone Studio during “Friday Night Liberty”- a monthly Open House event at NTC Liberty Station. You can also drop off any toy or check donations at Cerimone between 9:00a – 4:30p M-Th, Friday, Saturday & Sunday hours will vary, but I will be updating Facebook & Twitter with those times. You can also mail donation checks to the Cerimone Studio.

Please know that this may be the ONLY toy a child could get on Christmas morning,  your love & attention at selecting a gift is very much appreciated, in other words… Make it good! Also, due to potential health risks from allergens, no stuffed toys.

XXO!! THANK YOU SOOOO VERY VERY MUCH!!!

Cerimone Toy Drop Off Info:

M-Th 9:00a-4:30pm

Friday Night Liberty Dates are as follows:

Nov. 6 & Dec. 4   5:00-8:00 pm.

Toys will be collected until December 10^th.

P.S. Fellow Wedding Pros… if you want to get involved with Toys for Tots by donating your services, please contact me! All kinds of help is needed & greatly appreciated! xxo!!

Before we continue through the rest of the adventure that was Oz. I am going to share more pictures of our morning frolic with the roos.  The two pictures I posted previously were really unimpressive, plus I didn’t tell you that we saw them at Lysterfield National Park. Although some of you may run among the wild roos often, I certainly do not and I think a few more amateur pictures will be sorta fun for you to look at, and perhaps better illustrate how TOTALLY COOL it was to say good morning to Oz that day.

Roos say: Peek-a-boo who foreigner??

We're outta here!

The trail wa actually pretty cool too...

How many roos do you count?

Ok so back where to where the first post left off… I had fun hanging out with the koala, en-route to Phillip Island, where Janey spent many a summer living it up. We however, were going there to try

Janey & I on the pier at Phillip Island

and catch the penguin parade. Sadly, we didn’t get a chance to see the penguins for tickets sell out quite quickly and we really lagged on getting to the box office. Oh well… guess we’ll just have to go back to Oz! We did manage to have some fun though, which included eating fish & chips… one of my favorite indulgences when I travel. Have you ever noticed that everywhere you go, they always have fish & chips?? I am determined to eat fish & chips… everywhere I go. I know, glamorous right?!

NOM NOM!! Fish & Chips!!!

As I mentioned in the first post, I normally travel alone, and without a set agenda. Usually I like to see, do, & eat the quintessential things that are to be seen, done & had at the specific location, the rest is just adventures. However, being that a) I was not traveling alone, and b) I actually had purpose in my destination- visiting Janey. I got to spend time doing just “regular things” like having Sunday lunch with her family, and going for a night out on the town.

Our Top Chef! Jane's dad

Janey's dad pointing out the veggie patty's he made for Jane & I.

By the way,  if you want some very refreshing Victoria wine… get some of this:

yeah, this was delicisouly refreshing!

Our night out on the town, in St. Kilda, where Dayton was hit-on by a French Man, grown men played silly drinking games, and where I discovered the drink I now call the “Ideas” (or the “Brenda” if you try to get it at the PL Bar & Grill across from the Cerimone studio!):

Doing shots of tequila through a straw... this obvisouly wasn't the first drink of the night!

The "Ideas": Vodka Tonic with Raspberry syrup & lime! YUM! Credit goes to Janey for this one!

Man I miss Oz!

to be continued…

I know this is a very late Trip Report, for it’s been almost six months since my trip to the Land Down Under… But I am going to tell you about it and show you a few pictures anyway. We all like pictures right?!

Going to Australia was a very late 30^th Birthday present to myself. Not that I needed an excuse to go abroad, but it all seems so much more justified when there is a reason to go overseas in the name of celebration. Truth is that I really just wanted to see my beautiful friend Jane, who I met in 2006 while traveling through Greece, and who had not seen since our wedding in 2007.

Jane lives in Melbourne; The visit took place during the Easter Holidays (yes Easter and not Spring because it was actually Fall in the southern hemisphere during our Spring but it is still Easter none-the-less), with a tail-end trip out to Sydney for a few days before returning to the States. Originally I was going out there alone, but some last minute changes allowed Dayton to join me for a week, making Oz our first official trip (abroad) together…and boy was I nervous! Outside of our honeymoon & a small cruise we took back in 2005, we had never really traveled together, and I have always been sort of a “loner” when it comes to going places afar… That is just how I enjoy traveling, adventuring it through like a grown-up version of Dora the explorer, on my own with no agendas or worries, much less a person to be mindful of. As it turned out, we actually had a lot of fun! Due to his schedule, he was only there for a week, but then I was joined by my friend Melissa, who captured some of the images you will see on this post.

I tell ya, D & I loved Australia SO much, we are actually considering retiring to Melbourne, that city is the best combination of suburbia, countryside, and big city living all in one. Not to mention that the people are wonderful and the dogs even seem happier there. As it stands now, when we finally make it out there, I can apparently clean house with a Mexican Food restaurant (the Aussies love them some real Mex food) or doing what I do best… Weddings, for there really isn’t a whole lotta wedding planners/coordinators around out there. Whatever the case, Melbourne officially beat out Istanbul as my choice city to retire to (which is probably a good thing since I don’t think I would have EVER convinced Dayton to move to Turkey-LOL!)

So here folks begins our photographic journey through of our trip:

Approaching Landing in Melbourne!

Upon landing & showering, the first thing Janey did was take us to a pie shop… but not a bakery, an Australian Meat Pie Shop.

Dayton enjoying his Meat Pie!

After having our meat pies, we went for a long walk (one of many long, on-foot excursions) to Brighton to see the Beach Boxes.

Visiting the Beach Boxes in Brighton... these fancy sheds are own by the rich & almost famous of Melbourne

Photo by Melissa McClure

In the following days we explored Melbourne. What a magnificent city!! There was just enough of everything and its all accessible! Safe & calm suburbia is just a short, reliable, train ride away from the big city. Your back yard is the lush outback, beautiful nature surrounds every part of Melbourne There is enough culture & sports to balance out a fun yet intellectual lifestyle…and yes, there is even a fair amount of Bogans to keep things interesting. One of my favorite aspects of Melbourne was that it is uber dog friendly, I am not kidding when I tell you that the dogs out there just looked happier, and were pretty much allowed everywhere, on many occasions I noticed doggie water bowls outside establishments & restaurants, as well as a few places that even had leash racks, picture bike racks, but shorter, where you could just leash up your doggie while you went inside…and yes, they were dog racks, I asked! Did I mention the people were fantastic? They were! So dang friendly! Everyone greets you on the streets, when you go into their shop, on the bus, it’s so refreshing! Fellow runners & walkers cheer you on when they pass you, yes, they say “Keep at it!” “Good job!” “Almost there!”- so encouraging! For the first few days I was running with Jane I thought all the people we were passing by on the trails knew her… but then she told me that they didn’t, that’s just how fellow sportsmen are there. Nice! I know it may sound odd, but I tell ya, it makes your exercise routine that much more enjoyable!

Here are some of my favorite things in Melbourne :

The market in Downtown Melbourne.. I just LOVE street markets!! This one is like the perfect mix of a Mexican street market & an organized, clean grocery store. And NO, Farmer's Markets are not the same...

The Melbourne Gaol (Jail)- Australia was founded by convicts you know...

On the Southbank Promenade of the Yarra River Bank with Janey, downtown Melbourne in the background. I just LOOOOVED it here!

The Square at Downtown Melbourne - love cities with "Squares!

Janey’s boyfriend Ben is a trainer for the Western Bulldogs, an Australian Rules Football team, which is my NEW favorite sport to watch! We went to a couple of games while we were there, and I LOVED it… so much fun, and the fans are for real (so hardcore- ALL of them) … I loved getting official gear from Ben too, I was totally decked out at the games!

It was a FULL HOUSE for this game... and apparently it's like that at every home game, for each team in is respective city (except for Sydney).

All decked out in my official Bulldogs gear!

Trying out the stadium food...I think that was a sausage roll. Just like out here...totally overpriced and overcooked.

As mentioned earlier, we did a lot of on-foot exploration… Jane is a marathon runner, who exercises extensively, every single day, at the crack of dawn… as it seemed MANY Aussies did… So every single day while there, we took an excursion or two on foot to run or hike in the “Bush” or National Preserves ALL over the place (did I mention I actually lost a few pounds while out there?). It was magnificent- I saw SOO MUCH wildlife that way, granted half the time I couldn’t stop long enough to take a picture (and no I didn’t have my iphone with me)- but it was an absolutely genious way to see the country in all its natural splendor. One of the days, Janey made sure I took my camera so that I could snap pictures to my hearts content of all the wild kangaroos at this particular park. We had to wake up at 6am to get to see them, but it didn’t take more than a second to spot them, and they were all within arms length… it was WILD!

Well good morning Mr. Wild Roo!!

Brekky time Aussie style!

Look Ma!!! Looky how close I am!

Then of course we visited a wild life sanctuary where we got to feed “tame” roos & koalas too!

Dayton's new BFF

Actually D has a bunch of new BFFs, it took me a while not to be scared of feeding them too... them suckers are STRONG!

I preferred the uber sleepy Koalas! Who have claws & jaws of steel, but are yet so fluffy!!

Ok ok… I think this is a good place to “be continued”…

There are many things that every single couple should talk about and have a clear understanding of before they get married…NO, I am not talking about the type of cable service you should have, or who will take out the trash, or even the never ending debate of whether or not ordering take-out counts as “prepping dinner.” Although all of the above are important, none is near as serious as a bride’s name change.

Yes, yes, this is quite the sensitive subject, yet the one at fault for many pre-wedding fights these days. Do note that when I say pre-wedding, I mean within the 30 days before an exchange of vows is to happen… In the midst of paying off vendors, finalizing menu items, and kindly attempting to let your bff know that she/he cannot bring their new fling to the wedding, couples will get in horrendous fights over the (seemingly) ever-so-antiquated tradition. I, unfortunately have bared witness to many of these fights… talk about awkward, escape is near impossible when caught in the middle, especially when the fight literally sparks out of nowhere. Ugh. Often things get so heated that all rationality is lost beyond even sonar detection… “I really think this is a private matter… I am going to let myself out or maybe we can re-schedule our final consultation…”  No pretty folks, not pretty.

Perhaps in our modern times, a bride changing her name to her husband’s after marriage has become unexpected to some, yet it is something that happens without question for others. Neither of you will ever know until you discuss it together. While I do not intend to provide any sort of historical evidence, interpretation or professional pre-marital advice, I will simply share my opinion: TALK IT OUT!

It is imperative that you & your spouse-to-be talk about this subject (and ideally agree) early in your engagement. Don’t just touch on the subject either. Share with each other what your feelings and expectations are, why it means so much to you to change/not change names. You have to find a balance between practicality & emotions, family history, perceptions of independent, etc, etc. Whatever importance you have placed on your name (as the person holding it or the person who is changing it)… talk about it. Agree to find resolution BEFORE the wedding, and the moment you get stubborn and irrational and you feel anger taking over the discussion quickly turning into an argument… take a break, agree to talk about it again when you’ve both cooled of. Additionally, try not to have this conversation with everyone else first– everyone has an opinion (right, like me…) but with a sensitive topic such as this one, one less co-worker’s or friend’s outlook, may actually help you discuss this with your fiancée in clarity, rather than built-up angst.

Personally, I could NOT WAIT to get rid of my maiden name; Dantes, which is now my middle name solely for the purpose of having a middle initial and preventing my initials from being “BS”-  ha ha, yes, go ahead and giggle.

Done laughing?

Ok good…

As I was saying… For the most part, I had grown quite tired of telling people that I didn’t know the origin of  “Dantes”, that I was not Italian, or that there was no apostrophe between the “e” and the “s” like Dante’s Inferno. I had also grown quite tired of correcting people who pronounced my name “Daintees” “Dohnte” “Danes” or any other ludicrous butchery of a simple name- not that Swann has fixed that actually… people still butcher my name unnecessarily; “Swain” “Sean” “Swanson” and “Shaw” are the top… and my personal favorite, the lady a Vons who said “Thank you Miss Sanchez”  as she handed me my receipt just the other day… I tell ya there is no winning. BUT THE POINT is that without second though, I planned on changing my name after getting married, for I had no desire to hyphenate it. I never talked to Dayton about it and it really was a non-issue. BUT At no point did I feel like I was losing my identity or any part of my independence as a woman. I also do not feel like “property” or that I have disrespected my family or heritage in any way.  I guess it just worked out for us, and I am glad it did, because, swans are a lot cuter than fiery pits of hell, and I would have been one of those people fighting with my fincée just a month before our wedding if things would have been different.

It began at the young age of 13…At the Aquarius Roller Skate rink in La Mesa (native San Diegan’s might remember the place now looong gone). It was the place to be on Friday nights… But it was not because the Milli-Vanilli/NKOTB/Boyz to Men, slow-song sets where you could scandalously hold the hand of your crush in the dark, nor was it because the DJ always played my requests… it was because of the PHOTOBOOTH! That’s right, I liked going to the roller rink so I could get into the photo booth with my girlfriends, boys, and just about anyone that happened to be walking by…. (like the guy working at the snack bar or the guy who worked at the skate shop inside the rink).
Every single Friday night I spent there, I made sure to have 5-10 dollars, in one-dollar bills, so that I could squeeze-into the booth with my friends. Back then, it was the only way to have instant gratification of silly moments…although not quite as instant, because there was no digital screen to show your pictures as they were taken, there was just the mirror that you stared into with the camera lens above it… and hopefully the pictures would be cute. I am laughing right now as I remember the tiny little box, no really, it was a TINY space, that we packed in! I think it was harder to manage our roller-skate bound feet as we were getting in there than anything else… then once we were settled in, we still had to get the money in the dollar-eater, which often would not take our wrinkly bills… The teeny booth had an orange stool that could be adjusted by spinning it, yet it never seemed to get taller or shorter… the “backdrops” changed too; this one had an Orange, Blue, or White curtain. If we were feeling “craaazy” then more than two of us girls would giggle through the entire set of shots, which were very fast, snapped without warning, and often found us sticking more dollar bills in that machine so we could have do-overs or copies. Man… I need to dig up all those old shots!! I even remember that the only other place that had photo booths back then was the Del Mar fair… but those shots were THREE DOLLARS per strip… total rip-off to the 13-year-old me who made $3.50 an hour babysitting.

As you may all know, Photo booths have come a very very long way since then, and they are by far one of my favorite Wedding Favor ideas around…yes even more than the “Peas in a Pod” salt & pepper shaker and the personalized shot glass… Hard to believe I know… LOL ☺

Most of the photo booths that provide printed photos on the spot will put your monogram or names & wedding date on it, or you can even submit the artwork from your other stationery so that everything matches all the way around.

There are a ton of options these days for photo booths too, at every price level; from the classic booth with the strip that prints outside the booth (in color or black & white), the digital photo booth which allows you to email the images (like this) directly from the wedding (this one is from Keshot Photo Booths), to the photo booths set up by photographers (see shots below from Anika London Media), and one of my newest booths of interest, the “Photo Lounge,” by Mint Photo Lounge where you can fit up to eight people, or perhaps even more depending on the level fun you are having at a wedding.

Ultimately, the end result is the same… an opportunity for your guests to have fun & be silly (whether alcohol induced or with the aid of props)- making your wedding that much more memorable & enjoyable. I often walk by guests who are planning out the series of shots while waiting in line… it’s hilarious! Heck, I’ve done the same thing when given the opportunity. So much fun!!! Picking out the props to use is also entertaining, and no need to buy fancy stuff, hit up your local thrift store or clearance rack at any party store and look for cheap, silly things, like hats, puppets, face masks, stuffed animals, silly glasses, feather boas- or better yet, your dad’s closet for a cheesy old Hawaiian shirt & hat, or mom’s jewelry box for her old Mardi Gras beads… hee hee!
If you get a photo booth that prints double copies of the photos are not only good favors, but also it is another way to have a very creative and interactive guest book that people might actually sign. You can set up a table next to the booth with craft supplies & a scrap book, then let people have fun with it… Talk about a great coffee table book for your house!  I tell ya, I have to find a reason to have a party and have a photo booth!

Below are some fun shots & examples of different photo booths I’ve had the chance to sneak into at some of my weddings:

Classy Photo Booth- El Cortez 2008

Love it when we I get in there with the family & bridal party!

Working hard! Melissa McClure, Susan Yee, & myself at The Sheraton Harbor Island

Celebrating with Mark & Christine + Groomsmen!

Light*Ink*Ideas... Bringing Cerimone into the photobooth!!

This one is by Foto Cabina, at Ocean View Villas

By Anika London Media

By Anika London Media

I know I am a bit behind on blogging, and for that I apologize…This is my attempt at trying to catch-up with a tri-topic blog, better get your “ relaxin’ ” on, this is gonna be a long one!

Let’s start with Fitness Endeavors: Week 3 & 4

Well, there have been no endeavors really…. It’s been established that I have challenges with my eating habits. I can continue to make excuse after excuse on all the reasons why I’ve been completely incapable of conquering what is really a simple issue of effort. I have put forth very little effort to establishing & committing to any sort of eating habits. I try, I really do, but not long enough to make a difference, and I think I am actually starting to put my trainers’ patience on trial now. I mean I am sure that they don’t feel good about the fact I’ve lost zero weight in the amount of time I’ve been working with them. I see them three days a week, been doing it for a little over a month now, and while I feel great, have noticed a significant change on my strength, toning & endurance…no weight has been lost.

And now… just weeks before the Disney Half Marathon, I’ve had to make the very tough decision to not run it- hell, I am starting to wonder if I’ll even make it walking. For I simply have not spent enough time training… The last time I ran a half marathon, I spent almost 10 months training, and it was well worth it… this time, I’ve had very little structured training, and it’s not as if I can just lace up my Nike’s and do it….run 13.1 miles effortlessly. I’ve had to be quite honest with myself, a tough thing to do when you think you’re supergirl… I am very disappointed, feel like a failure if I stop to think about it too long, yet I’ve quickly gone into the state of accepting it… I’ve got too many other things going-on to dwell on the fact I’ve not prioritized personal time more efficiently to meet my goals. Perhaps the fact that I am happy in my life takes the “feeling like a failure” sentiment down a few notches. But it is, never the less, a failure.

Why do I do, what I do?   Do-be do-be do…

Recently I had a potential client ask me the above question (minus the do-bees). While I wanted to answer with “because it makes me happy”- since it does, I found myself pondering the question as if I was trying to answer the never ending-saga of which came first, the chicken or the egg?  I was stumped, I didn’t know what to say…my happiness seemed so insufficient and quintessential to be a “real” answer- and in the cynical world that we live, happiness is sometimes just not enough to close a deal. Fortunately for me (or everyone really!), I like to have my Socrates moments and think things out anyway, and I did…

In the midst of “thinking” – that occurred over a span of a few days. I happen to be spending some time with a colleague who posed the same question to me in a totally different context… then suddenly, VIOLA! At that moment I had to stop and get to a computer, so that I could type out to this potential client, why it was that I do-be do-be dooed… what I do. Running the risk of sounding even loonier than saying “because it makes me happy”- I realized what it is that makes me happy and why I do-bee the way I do…. Are you ready for it?  Wait…wait for it… wait…

I do it because I have always wanted to be part of a BIG OL’ family, and planning weddings sometimes gives me the great privilege to become a part of a couple’s family, be it for 18 months or maybe just 18 weeks… we share so many moments along the way and build such amazing friendships that there is no way to avoid being happy. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got my “own” family… but most of them I’ve not seen since I was 10 years old, at home in Mexico. I have loads of family; they just aren’t here and worse… I don’t know them at all   My immediate family, sans husband, was five people until my dad passed two years ago, since then it’s been just Mom, Brother, Brother, certainly not what you expect out of a Mexican right? I mean we’re supposed to have big ol’ familias with so many tias, tios, primos, padrinos, etc. etc. (aunts, uncles, cousins, god parents)… so many of them that you can’t even remember who’s blood going through who’s veins got you to a spot in the family name. Counting the husband, I have a bigger family, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and even nieces & nephews… but they too are all far away, spread between Iowa & Florida…uugh!

So alas, I am left with all of these beautiful brides & handsome grooms, their parents, best men, maids of honor, silly aunts & crazy uncles, overbearing grandmas, pervy grandpas, and all the in-between… I am left with happiness, and often, with everlasting friendships & bonds…. That is why I do what I do. Because as I said in the email I wrote to my now client: “I really enjoy helping build the memories you will hold on to for many many moons, and while i realize you aren’t going to remember me specifically down the road.. you are going to remember the planning, your day, you’ll see the pictures… and that’s really what excites me, that you can have those stories to pass on to your kids, grandkids… etc. I love what I do because it’s like the huge family I always wanted, it might sound cheese-ball, but I am ok with that… one giant cliche of a cheese ball I’ve got no shame!”

Happy Birthday to me!!

I love my birthday! In case you didn’t know, August is “Brenda Month”- I call it that because I pretty much spend all month “catching up” with all kinds of friends who are so kindly wanting to help me celebrate my birthday, but with busy schedules all the way around, there is no avoiding celebrating all month long… Oh and I just LOVE it… This year, I kicked off Brenda Month on my actual date of birth (the 3^rd) by spending a day at the Hotel Del Coronado Spa… Oh was it ever so glorious!! My husband so kindly arranged (all the way from Afghanistan!) a day full of pampering and relaxation. At first I was completely against it… only a crazy person takes a WHOLE day off in the middle of wedding season, I mean really, who’s got the time?! R & R come in the off season; December never looked so sweet!! LOL. Anyway, the pampering started off with a mimosa brunch, and was followed by a sugar body scrub treatment, hot stone massage, facial & eye treatment, paraffin mani & pedi- and capped off with a little poolside cocktail. It was amazing… I can’t believe he doesn’t send me to do that every day! All kidding aside though, “Brenda Month” started off great, it’s moving along marvelously, and I am so excited for what’s ahead!

Birthday Mimosa?? Why yes, yes please!!

Aaahhh... can this be my everyday??