More than a one-night affair…

Failures, epiphanies & a birthday…

I know I am a bit behind on blogging, and for that I apologize…This is my attempt at trying to catch-up with a tri-topic blog, better get your “ relaxin’ ” on, this is gonna be a long one!

Let’s start with Fitness Endeavors: Week 3 & 4

Well, there have been no endeavors really…. It’s been established that I have challenges with my eating habits. I can continue to make excuse after excuse on all the reasons why I’ve been completely incapable of conquering what is really a simple issue of effort. I have put forth very little effort to establishing & committing to any sort of eating habits. I try, I really do, but not long enough to make a difference, and I think I am actually starting to put my trainers’ patience on trial now. I mean I am sure that they don’t feel good about the fact I’ve lost zero weight in the amount of time I’ve been working with them. I see them three days a week, been doing it for a little over a month now, and while I feel great, have noticed a significant change on my strength, toning & endurance…no weight has been lost.

And now… just weeks before the Disney Half Marathon, I’ve had to make the very tough decision to not run it- hell, I am starting to wonder if I’ll even make it walking. For I simply have not spent enough time training… The last time I ran a half marathon, I spent almost 10 months training, and it was well worth it… this time, I’ve had very little structured training, and it’s not as if I can just lace up my Nike’s and do it….run 13.1 miles effortlessly. I’ve had to be quite honest with myself, a tough thing to do when you think you’re supergirl… I am very disappointed, feel like a failure if I stop to think about it too long, yet I’ve quickly gone into the state of accepting it… I’ve got too many other things going-on to dwell on the fact I’ve not prioritized personal time more efficiently to meet my goals. Perhaps the fact that I am happy in my life takes the “feeling like a failure” sentiment down a few notches. But it is, never the less, a failure.

Why do I do, what I do?   Do-be do-be do…

Recently I had a potential client ask me the above question (minus the do-bees). While I wanted to answer with “because it makes me happy”- since it does, I found myself pondering the question as if I was trying to answer the never ending-saga of which came first, the chicken or the egg?  I was stumped, I didn’t know what to say…my happiness seemed so insufficient and quintessential to be a “real” answer- and in the cynical world that we live, happiness is sometimes just not enough to close a deal. Fortunately for me (or everyone really!), I like to have my Socrates moments and think things out anyway, and I did…

In the midst of “thinking” – that occurred over a span of a few days. I happen to be spending some time with a colleague who posed the same question to me in a totally different context… then suddenly, VIOLA! At that moment I had to stop and get to a computer, so that I could type out to this potential client, why it was that I do-be do-be dooed… what I do. Running the risk of sounding even loonier than saying “because it makes me happy”- I realized what it is that makes me happy and why I do-bee the way I do…. Are you ready for it?  Wait…wait for it… wait…

I do it because I have always wanted to be part of a BIG OL’ family, and planning weddings sometimes gives me the great privilege to become a part of a couple’s family, be it for 18 months or maybe just 18 weeks… we share so many moments along the way and build such amazing friendships that there is no way to avoid being happy. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got my “own” family… but most of them I’ve not seen since I was 10 years old, at home in Mexico. I have loads of family; they just aren’t here and worse… I don’t know them at all 😦   My immediate family, sans husband, was five people until my dad passed two years ago, since then it’s been just Mom, Brother, Brother, certainly not what you expect out of a Mexican right? I mean we’re supposed to have big ol’ familias with so many tias, tios, primos, padrinos, etc. etc. (aunts, uncles, cousins, god parents)… so many of them that you can’t even remember who’s blood going through who’s veins got you to a spot in the family name. Counting the husband, I have a bigger family, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and even nieces & nephews… but they too are all far away, spread between Iowa & Florida…uugh!

So alas, I am left with all of these beautiful brides & handsome grooms, their parents, best men, maids of honor, silly aunts & crazy uncles, overbearing grandmas, pervy grandpas, and all the in-between… I am left with happiness, and often, with everlasting friendships & bonds…. That is why I do what I do. Because as I said in the email I wrote to my now client: “I really enjoy helping build the memories you will hold on to for many many moons, and while i realize you aren’t going to remember me specifically down the road.. you are going to remember the planning, your day, you’ll see the pictures… and that’s really what excites me, that you can have those stories to pass on to your kids, grandkids… etc. I love what I do because it’s like the huge family I always wanted, it might sound cheese-ball, but I am ok with that… one giant cliche of a cheese ball 🙂 I’ve got no shame!”

Happy Birthday to me!!

I love my birthday! In case you didn’t know, August is “Brenda Month”- I call it that because I pretty much spend all month “catching up” with all kinds of friends who are so kindly wanting to help me celebrate my birthday, but with busy schedules all the way around, there is no avoiding celebrating all month long… Oh and I just LOVE it… This year, I kicked off Brenda Month on my actual date of birth (the 3rd) by spending a day at the Hotel Del Coronado Spa… Oh was it ever so glorious!! My husband so kindly arranged (all the way from Afghanistan!) a day full of pampering and relaxation. At first I was completely against it… only a crazy person takes a WHOLE day off in the middle of wedding season, I mean really, who’s got the time?! R & R come in the off season; December never looked so sweet!! LOL. Anyway, the pampering started off with a mimosa brunch, and was followed by a sugar body scrub treatment, hot stone massage, facial & eye treatment, paraffin mani & pedi- and capped off with a little poolside cocktail. It was amazing… I can’t believe he doesn’t send me to do that every day! All kidding aside though, “Brenda Month” started off great, it’s moving along marvelously, and I am so excited for what’s ahead!

Birthday Mimosa?? Why yes, yes please!!

Birthday Mimosa?? Why yes, yes please!!

Aaahhh... can this be my everyday??

Aaahhh... can this be my everyday??


One response

  1. Happy Belated Birthday Brenda! Just so you know. As a psychology grad student, had you said that you’re a wedding coordinator because it makes you happy, I would have been dissatisfied. It would have been like if someone said “Why are you with me.” and the other responded “because I love you.” It just isn’t enough. What is love? What is happiness to an individual? It is so subjective. Your incredibly thoughtful and introspective answer blew me away. It’s the best answer I’ve heard in this wedding vendor search. I just knew you had to be a part of our team… a group of over analyzers who love what we do!

    August 8, 2009 at 5:43 am

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