Disgruntled Midnight “Bride”

I had an amazing wedding Saturday evening at El Cortez Downtown… just amazing & beautiful. As usual, I am the last person person out the door, I had finished loading up my car with the centerpieces & cake that were to be donated to the SD Hospice, when some really big car blocks me in the space where I was parked, I could hardly tell what kind of car it was, silver, big, with big ol’ blinding lights… then a woman begins to nearly scream out the window at me:

Crazie: “Do you know if there are vacancies in there?!!?”

Me: “This isn’t a real hotel”

Crazie: “Well I just called and the foreigners are answering tonight…they could not tell me if I could book, who do I talk to??!!”

Me: “Uhm, I am not sure, I don’t work here… ”

Crazie: “Well what were you doing there?!!!”

Me (a lil scared): “I was the wedding coordinator for this wedding, you can try to call on Monday morning…”

Crazie: “Well I really need a room… I spent $12,000 at somewhere in Coronado and they f’d up my wedding…”

Me: “Do you need help? Do you need me to call someone for you?”

Crazie: “Does it look like I need help?? I am  a LAWYER for Blah & Blah!! I just want to have my wedding by the beach!? IS there a problem with that?!”

Me: “No, but this is not the beac…..”

Crazie: “Who is your boss???!!! Who do I need to call… I don’t understand why I can’t get an English option… these banks are ridiculous…I got stuck in the vestibule in San Ysidro today and its $#@^% ridiculous I can’t get a room!”

Me (as I am frantically trying to find the non-emergency police #): “I am not sure, but if you have the number, call Monday, ask for sales”

Simultaneously, I am trying to post on twitter or FB because I was starting to get a bit nervous… I mean everyone was gone,  incuding the  El Cortez staff and here I was trapped in my car by a crazy lawyer bride with a $12,000 credit at some hotel in  Coronado…. I just wasn’t sure what to do… clearly she was on drugs or something… Then she decided to start yelling about the children of today…. going on fancy summer camps instead of delivering books to the kids without… and that Father Joe Carrroll was too demanding, and it is ridiculous that her wedding that NEVER HAPENNED cannot be turned into a New Year’s party. She wanted to have a new years party at the horrible hotel, which was now in Santa Barbara, where she could not have her wedding in the first place because her assistant screwed it up…

Crazie: “I answer my own damn phone you know!!! I don’t know why she answered it.. she ruined EVERYTHING!!!”

Then she continues to tell me about her fat bridal party who can’t fit into a Navy Blue dress she found at JCrew for nearly a steal…

Ok do note that my car is running, I’m in reverse…I am dialing everyone and their mother hoping someone can pick-up the phone at midnight (sorry if  called you), and this crazie wont budge… I was officially scared.

I continued with the same song and dance for about 45 minutes, telling her I didn’t work there, El Cortez is not a real hotel and agreeing with her that the children of today are spoiled rotten…need to read more books… the whole bit…

Then… as quickly as she had cornered me into the parking space I was at.. she takes  her big fat SUV and pulls out and is nowhere… she was dense …hooting & hollering loudly… and I finish backing up my car…

The whole ordeal was quite strange yet funny, yet none of the above…

I am so never leaving a any venue ALONE ever!!!